Today

its been days i created a new post here...and in these periods, its like a dream....happened so fast and there are things i could not remember even though it just happened yesterday...

there are too many changes and at some times, it is just me together with puzzles in my mind....

i have been spend most of my time doing things by myself... i been to cinema alone, shopping by myself, ate alone and etc....To be honest, i enjoyed most of the part of these.

at times, i went for futsal with friends, also to mamak....but being alone its like having the ultimate freedom....i just do anything i wanted to and i dont have to worry about hurting anyone....

its beautiful, when you lying beside the beach alone looking up the skies. its peaceful when you listen to the waves....

i tried walking away from all things i dont wanted to see and face, avoiding you says...

but i still enjoyed all this, for the time being...

What a life

today, i woke up at 8.30am. I guess i had a nice sleep...

my colleague woke me up with a call and as usual, i hesitated...

tried to stand up and with the lights still OFF, i moved around the bed to switch on the light...

proceeded to the bathroom...take a good bath and hope, today will be a better day...

today gotta finish my SFTT presentation. it is one of the tool i need to master for my job, and i have less than 9 days to read and present it to the boss and the senior engineers here...

seriously, it is not an easy as it is damn technical. i remembered when i was young, i told myself that i wont take up a job that requires me to learn technically but at the end, this is what i ended up doing for my life....haizzzz

we planned for life but it is the God who decided how it goes....

and my plan....all ended up, UNDONE....

What a life...

Si beh Suay

since 24 hours ago, all things went so unwell for me.

first of all, i did my string check for my job (checking the tool) and it just went crazy...

it is not that i dont know how to do it...

but it just happened, i have been Forget this and that....

WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING?

I tried to get focus but it seems, too many things been bothering me.

even when i drink my tea, i ate a beetle. just imagine when you seriously chew the beetle in your mouth...WTH!!!!

and at night, when i proceed with my tool checking activity, my logging unit produced some burning smell...and i thought it will explode!!!

it seriously freak me out...

i was in the cabin and i am totally lost because i dont know where the smell come from.

1. is it from the panels?

2. or maybe from the electronics section?

or worst case, is it from the computers? if ya...all my works & preparation for whole 3 days will be GONE....

at that moment, i was thinking, should i get the fire extinguisher? if there is fire...i will be ready to put it off....but i didnt do that anyway....

my colleague who is outside the cabin smelled it too....and he came to check it out....

i took a deep breath, calmly switch off all the panels....and called the mechanics for help.

eventually, he cant find anything...and lastly i got to call the maintenance boss, and he sent 2 engineers to check and.....ZERO....nothing is burn and now the BIG QUESTION is, where the smell come from?

i am F**KING stressed because just few more steps, i am done with the string check....its 10pm and i wanted to go home..have my lovely shower and sleep on the soft bed....

and today,

after so many struggles and challenges i have,

the job is cancelled....@#$%^&^%$#$%^&*&^%!!!!!

damn it...

5 minutes

Yes!!!

5 minutes...thats the time left for me to submit all my work last thursday before i get penalty for submitting late...

I went to my instructor and passed him the survey form...

He looked at the watch and smiled...

*Fook, you still have 5 minutes left to submit your work in front of the gate*

I was stunned for a while... and WHAT????!!!!

I thought i need to submit to you..HEY, are you kidding me??

What else i can do??? with all my works in my hand, i ran like i dont have to breath to the front gate....i took merely less than 2 minutes to reached there, hmmm...around 200m i guess....

I reached the front of the room, its a guard house, and at that time, i realized...I am so *punctured*...

I cant barely breath and i am catching my breath in front of the door, with my hand knocking the door to ensure the guard saw me. Eventually, i submitted my work and i looked at the clock in the room. I still have 5 minutes left....

HAHA...I am lucky? I guess not...i haven turn OFF my PC in the lab and i need to run again...to turn it off before 11pm....

WTF!!!!

Actually i should have extra 1 hour since i need to wait for the tools to get ready during my 15 hours during my FINAL CONFIDENCE LAB....for 1 hour...sigh~


Now, i dont have time to check my logs and i think i am gonna do badly...when i checked it, yes, 3 biggest mistakes i should not make...

Will it cost my future?


ARGHHHHH!!!!!!



I want time machine!!!!!!

Some moment

7 days...yes....another one week, and the journey as AFP will cut short to HALF...

The time passed by as if everything started last year have no ending and i just gotta move on...

Even when things seem to go against you...

I am excited each time i see challenges ahead of me...

i found my own satisfaction when i am able to do things i think i cant...but eventually, i did it...

However, usually, I tend to screw things up and then make a big circle from where i started to the finish line...

Still, i enjoyed it...

Life is not boring...if we know how to play it right...

Do what you want...and live the way you wanted to be..

Thats it..i am too tired to type anymore..need some rest...:-p

21 hours

I woke up at 3am this morning. Get myself ready for my next assignment...which last for the next 21 hours that will start at 5am.

I felt so cold and i am hugging myself when i walked into the bathroom to take my only shower for the day...

The hot water failed to play its role as i am freezing + shivering all the way

Looking at myself at the mirror, i know, it would not be long that i will still continue standing with my current condition.

I grabbed warm water and ate 2 tablets of Panadol, with the hope, i will get better for the next 21 hours...

I reached my training centre an hour earlier and get prepared for the jobs. Checking, verification the tools + equipments, and safety meeting with the crews...

I know how much this job appealed, both mentally and physically, that's why i have to make sure i will keep standing even though my body no longer listen to me. I felt kinda dizzy but i am telling myself i gotta pull it through...

once the job started, i totally forgot about how unwell i am and kept working until the end. Currently, looking at the watch, i have 8 hours left to go. It is so weird isn't it? When you are busy with your work, you will probably forget about everything, how fast the time passed by and your body seems to do fine until you are resting on the chair..which i am doing now.....sick again..


Alright, is there any option i have?

i swallowed another 2 tables of panadol again after took my dinner.


Like whats been said, Life isn't so tough if you think positively but here, the question for the day...

How to, if, you are down, mentally and physically???


Cheers....

There is an old saying, "without trust, there is no love." Is this true?

Well, one thing is for sure: love with trust will definitely lasts a lot longer than love without it...

Losing trust for a partner is not uncommon...I lost it once and it never come back...

Events or personality differences treated the wrong way, will erode trust in our loved one.

Insults, put-downs, disrespect, affairs, flirting (with others), mismanagement of business or money, and numerous other things will all contribute to losing trust too....agree?

So how do we rebuild the trust we all wanted?

The answer is ACCEPTANCE

I believe, the only way to get someone to trust is to accept them for who they are....

There are many differences between people in relationships. From experience, all these differences go beyond the "opposites attract" theory. Being different is vital to a successful relationship, as these differences help us make up for what we lack. With our partner's strengths, we will be a stronger couple than we are individually..

at times, we lose patience and try to rush up things and we didn't realize that we will end up hurting each other...

at times, we did something stupid too bad, there will be no U-turn...

at times, we only realized the trust is GONE ...

There are times, acceptance is not the solution for TRUST anymore...because, once it is lost...it will never be back...

Start from Zero?

Zero...i believe everyone dislike this word as the way it portrayed, indicate negative impression, due to the way it is being pronounced and sounded..

However, do we ever realized that, we, everyone in this world, started everything from very zero?

Since the day we are born...zero has been the best friend of ours...

we started with zero knowledge, zero skills and zero ability to take care of our self...

Today, look at you, go to the mirror, do you think the word Zero still exist in your life?

For me, the answer will be YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!

Zero is still my best friend....

on 3rd of Nov, i will start a new life with zero, and i wanted to end it with infinity...

I am glad with all the chances given and i appreciate, the fate how God for being so kind to me...

Able to find happiness is definitely the best thing in life...


And zero, thanks for always being the starting point for me....